Wow! Is great to be back after the short break….today we will
be looking at 5 ways we can be our husband’s lover…Enjoy!
Being a lover and having great sex aren't just for women in
movies and romance novels! Here are 5 things every married woman can do to
become her husband's lover. For many of us, the term “lover,” when it refers to
a woman, conjures up images of a mistress, someone who’s engaged in a wild
fling or a character in a romance novel. Her life seems a little shocking,
rather scandalous, and maybe just a tiny bit exciting.
We might wish we could do some of the things she’s doing,
experience some of the excitement she’s feeling – in other words, be somebody’s
lover.
Fortunately for us as wives, we are somebody’s lover – our
husband’s lover. We can enjoy a steamy
sex life – the anticipation, the excitement, the intimacy – all wrapped up in
the security of love and commitment. We
can have everything the mistress or girlfriend or romance character has, and so
much more.
How to Be Your Husband’s Lover
But, stepping into the role of our husband’s lover sometimes
takes a bit of effort. We may have
embraced it early in marriage, but then let it slide. Or maybe we allowed our other roles – mom,
teacher, chauffeur, employee, daughter, friend – to push it aside.
Or maybe we just never really got comfortable with the idea
of being our husband’s lover.
Whatever your situation, you can embrace and relish your role as a lover. And if you’re already embracing it, please
share your tips with us. Because I’m
writing as a fellow traveler on this path, not as any sort of expert. And I would love for other wives to share
what has worked for them.
But while we’re waiting for some expert advice, here are 5
things we can do to think and act like our husband’s lover:
• Make space in your
life. Busyness is the enemy of the
lover. If you’re running from one
commitment to another – all day, every day – you won’t have time or energy to
invest in becoming a lover.
So determine to make it a priority by creating some space
and some margins around your life, in order to allow sex and intimacy to
flourish. You’ll have to make decisions
and take steps. It may involve reining
in your family’s schedule, making difficult choices or disappointing some
people. But it will be worth it.
• Envision yourself
as a lover. Chances are, some of the
roles you’re juggling – wife, mom, employee, cook, chauffeur, referee – are
crowding out one of your most important and pleasurable roles – your husband’s
lover. So practice thinking of yourself as
a sexual person, a woman who enjoys sex and intimacy.
Then, do things that promote that frame of mind – take time
to relax and unwind, dress in a way that makes you feel good about your body,
listen to sexy music, use essential oils, wear provocative scents or use them
in your bedroom. Think about sexual
encounters you and your husband have enjoyed in the past, and imagine things
you might do in the future. Consider
emailing or texting some of your thoughts to him, to get a sexy conversation
started. Be conscious of bringing your
mind back regularly to the thought that you are a lover.
• Seek out
sex-positive resources. The number
of high-quality sex and intimacy resources for married couples has exploded in
the past 10 years. Many top-notch
authors are writing books and blogs that promote a positive view of sex in
marriage and help couples achieve the deep intimacy and enjoyable sex lives
most people crave. Pick a couple of
resources that appeal to you and read them regularly. Let them remind you of the benefits of living
as a lover and provide you with ideas and information to help you do it.
• Take an active role
in your sex life. As wives, we tend
to sit back and let our husbands do most of the work when it comes to sex. The problem with that approach is that it
tends to make us passive, rather than active, participants in our own sex
lives. And lovers aren’t passive
So try switching things up once in a while. Initiate sex sometimes – it helps you develop
a sense of control of your own sexuality (and it thrills most husbands!). Regardless of who initiates, get involved –
kiss him passionately, touch him, respond when he touches you, let him know
what you want. Do something you did when
sex was steamiest between the two of you.
Any time you find yourself drifting into passivity, do something to get
your mind and body interested and engaged.
• Cuddle, Gist and Tickle
Him. Throw yourself into your husband arms and allow him to cuddle you, be gist
partners and tickle him while appreciating his features.
• Try something new. One of the reasons sex thrills us in the
beginning is that everything is new and exciting. But as we spend more time together, we fall
into a routine and know exactly what to expect, which registers in our brains
as “oh, here comes the same old thing.”
So create excitement again by introducing something new every now and
then – a new location, a new position, a different time of day, a change in
tempo, lingerie – anything that’s new and a bit different for the two of you.
And, once in a while, try something that’s new and slightly outside your comfort zone. Because lovers are a little bit
adventurous! So try something you’ve
thought you might enjoy or something you know he’d enjoy – often, doing
something unexpected just for your husband ends up being exciting for you
too. Just take a step outside your
comfort zone and be a little bit more daring.
Like a lover.
Cuddle
What are your tips for
helping wives embrace their role as a lover?
Do you find it easy or difficult to think of yourself as a lover? Please
share your thoughts in the Comments. I would
love to hear from you. Cheers and keep Charming Your Man!
credit:calmhealthysexy
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